An inspired idea.

I am now convinced that I do not live in a real country. I think ireland is a reality TV show devised by Europeans with a wierd sense of humour. I now believe that every Friday night a guy called Gunther who lives in Hamburg sits down to watch his favourite programme iRELAND.( it doesn't get a capital I because it doesn't deserve one)

I think in the early nineties our overall dress sense and sense of style was an embarassment to the rest of Europe so they gave us some money. Part of the deal was that we would stop appearing on the beaches of the Mediteranean wearing black brogues and G.A.A. football shorts that went see through when wet.

We smartened ourselves up a bit and started wearing interenationally recognised brands such as Pennys. They Euro heads came over to visit. They didn't like the infrastructure here because there wasn't any. They liked the green grass. That was all we had, green grass and fish. ( Oh I think we gave the fish away) So they provided us with what was called Structural and Cohesive funding . I think that their plan was that we would be like their holiday home but they were going to carry out some renovations before spending any time here. And maybe, by keeping us working on these refurbishments we would be less likely to travel to other European countries and cause embarassment.

So they gave us a lot of money. Well it was a lot of money to us. As we are a shower of incompetent drunken fools we put the money on a horse. And the horse won.

Billy.G