The biggest problem in finding a solution to the Irish Economic problem is working out how big the problem is in the first place. I spent a week trying to work it out but I couldn't. There simply are not enough spaces on my calculator. When I try to add up what we as a country owe, the screen displays "50.E!!!!" - in red.
I think we need to get our hands on 50,000,000,000 but it could be 50,000,000,000,000. I think that is called 50 thousand gazillion. The Irish Civil Service must be issued with calulators that can only compute around 9 digits. i think they are just guessing the rest. There is such a thing as an atomic microscope. It is the most pwerful type of microscope in the world. We need an atomic calulator. In fact we need both. We need the atmoic microscope to find the brains of the politicians/civil servants who sleep walked into this mess and we need the atomic calculator to work out the bill!
Once we get past this point we need to get our thinking caps on. The only way I see us getting out of this mess is a combination of begging and blackmail. We all know the Germans and the Frenchies are loaded. They have the money and we have the Lisbon referendum. For a small fee (the above mentioned 50 gazillion or it could be 50 thousand gazillion)we will vote yes to the treaty.
We would have to allow the Euro heads to attach conditions to this loan. We might have to finally learn a foreign language. We might have to improve our English speaking skills to a level on a par with a 5 year old Scandinavian.
We might have to start taking the Eurovision seriously again. No more entering turkeys.
We might have to turn Ireland into a big craft shop to entertain our continental cousins. We might have to wear leprechaun outfits.
Meanwhile as our economy slides down the toilet we still pay the highest levels social welfare, we have the worlds best paid policitians and we have the worlds highest paid central banker (around €400,000 per annum).
While the nations work force heads off to work with their lunchboxes under their arms the 166 TD's discuss whether they should have to provide evidence of the expenses (up to €100k)they claim. As I sit at my desk trying to find a website where I can sell my childrens kidneys I am trying to figure out why the Irish Prime Minister gets paid more than the American President.
Why does America, with a population of 300 million have 100 senators and litle old Ireland, with a population of 4 million have 166 TD's. Either America should have 750 senators or we should have 1.5 TD's. I think I would prefer the 1.5 option and we could round that down to 1.
It's only Monday
